I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
