do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
