Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
