Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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