I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
