i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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