I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
