i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
