I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
