Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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