The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
