In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
