idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
