I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
