Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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