I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
