Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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