I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
