And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
