He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
