Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
