Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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