This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
