My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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