its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
