Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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