you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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