Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
