Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
