Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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