Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
