The maid of honor just puked.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
