I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
