the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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