weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize