I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize