I hate your face
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
