haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
