Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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