I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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