ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
