theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
