you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
