The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
