If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
