You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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