at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
