My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
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