the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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