it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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