i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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