why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
