nut hugger
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
