Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
