you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
