So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
