Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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