Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
