No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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